girl: babe come over
boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl: my parents aren't home
boy: I know
posted 6 minutes ago with 269,090 notes  deanprincesster)


grandad built this house with his bare hands, kids. most people use bricks but not grandad. he thought hands were bricks.

(via officialunitedstates)

posted 6 minutes ago with 1,913 notes  reallyreallyreallytrying)

One time in class, I got fed up

This was one of my favorite teachers ever, he didn't believe in homework and was just the coolest dude ever
Teacher: I won't be here tomorrow so I left worksheets for the teacher to give you.
Kid: why can't we watch a movie?
Teacher: because the school board doesn't like us to show you movies that don't have anything to do with the curriculum. They say that movies are for home and we need to keep your home life separate from your school life.
Me: then why do they give us homework?
Whole class: .....
Teacher: .....
President: .....
Miley Cyrus: ....
Me: ....
Teacher: Samantha, please. Whatever you do. Bring this up with the principal because that's the best argument I have ever heard.
posted 10 minutes ago with 125,985 notes  fantasticarepickles)


My sister was catching fireflies and she named the first one she caught Sam and then she asked me what she should name the second one and naturally I said Dean and then she caught a third and named it John and she was trying to hold them all but they kept trying to fly away and she was like “Hurry! Get a container Sam is trying to leave the family!” And I just kinda went


Dammit Sammy

(via officialgenitalherpes)

posted 28 minutes ago with 4,597 notes  fandoms-united-to-defeat-evil)


when ur trying to act chill


(via officialgenitalherpes)

posted 28 minutes ago with 286,325 notes  glowcloud)









Darren Hunt of Utah

The murder of young Black Men by police continues.

oh for fucks SAKE

Y’all he was shot in the back…. HE WAS SHOT IN THE BACK…


He was carrying a sword? This mf in my geography class carried a sword to class everyday and when I expressed my discomfort it was dismissed. But this brotha was shot in the back.

and it was a blunted sword.. couldn’t have cut anybody… but white people walking around with loaded rifles in target…

Exactly! This is evil.

Damn. Niggas can’t even cosplay anymore? I would love to see the cosplay community say something about this but that definitely won’t happen

Also: this paper is edited by a clown. It should’ve been in the first fucking paragraph that this dude was cosplaying. I’m reading this shit wondering why the fuck this negro is walking down the street with a sword and obvious answer is hidden almost at the en of the article.

This dude was cosplaying.

He was dressed up in a costume.

Should all black people just stay home on Halloween this year?

Friendly reminder that the police shot a black cosplayer in the back

(via caterjunes)

posted 29 minutes ago with 45,741 notes  darvinasafo)




Why is it that evil villains always find poison to inject into their victims like just literally fill the syringe with air and just stick the needle between their toes or something. It’ll mimic a heart attack and the victim will die pretty quick and NO ONE WILL ASK MANY QUESTIONS BECAUSE IT’LL LOOK LIKE A HEART ATTACK

first of all how do you know this information i feel like the government doesnt want you to know that


(via pygmyhufflepuff)

posted 1 hour ago with 214,360 notes  ohyousourwolf)

daily reminder that the boy you’re in love with at 16 probably won’t matter when you’re 25.

daily reminder that the math test you failed your freshman year of high school probably won’t matter when you’re graduating college.

daily reminder that the problems you’re facing today may seem like the worlds end, but they will not matter in a year.

daily reminder that you’re going to be okay.

everything is going to be okay.

(Source: theperksofbeing-kate, via nob0dy-could-be-that-clever)

posted 1 hour ago with 471,624 notes  theperksofbeing-kate)


shows that embrace women being powerful and celebrate their femininity: 


my little pony:


adults that enjoy my little pony:


adult males that enjoy my little pony:


adult men who sexualize my little pony:


adult men who sexualize my little pony to the point where little girls see fleshlights and porn when they look for cute lil ponies online:


adult males who shame little girls for not being “real” my little pony fans and create a toxic and unsafe environment for five year olds:




(via pizzarockandrolls)

posted 4 hours ago with 47,670 notes  postllimit)

Cashier: That'll be $4.03
Me: I only have $4...
Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
Me: ...........
Cashier: ........
Me: what are we?
posted 4 hours ago with 30,576 notes  autosomes)